It's quiet here. It's a bag of mixed blessings. On the one hand, I like having time to myself to do those things I've been trying to get done for so long. My room is getting put together and I pretty much know where everything is. The gigantic oak desk is out of there, waiting for a den. I got my dresser all cleaned off last night and pictures are back up on the walls where they belong. Well, most of them are. I still have some of my own photographs I need to print out and put into frames and then find homes for them. My computer's become used to being down there and I like not having it in the living room. Grandma's black buffet/desk is finally cleaned out and put in some semblance of order. I've condensed us out of 3 desks now and most everything is in the black desk. Upstairs, the TV isn't housed in the entertainment center any more. We're going to donate that to the PD or to the hospital thrift store. I'm using the antique Korean chest to house the TV and all its' accouterments. It's nice paring things down.
On the other hand, it's very quiet. I miss Emma. She'll be back tomorrow, though, so I will enjoy this brief respite. Like I said, it's a bag of mixed blessings. Katie is camping with "friends" and Emma is with her. When I commented to Mike's dad some weeks ago how difficult it will be when Emma no longer lives with us and how quiet it will be here, he said, "But you'll get used to it. And that's how it's supposed to be." He's right, of course. Little ones are meant to be raised by their parents. I just pray that the circumstances at that time will be much better than they are now. I would love nothing better than for Katie and Emma to be on their own, Katie with a good job, Emma with either us watching her or someone else just as good (is that possible?), happy, content, doing what is Right.
It struck me this morning how I wish that our church-going wasn't "broken." I know that it was right for us to leave the old church and go to the new one when we did . . . and then to switch back when we found that the new one wasn't home. I just wish that the timing had been better. It caused a disruption for the kids. They never fit in with the new one and when we went back to the old one, too many years had passed for them to feel part of it again. It's so much easier when they're younger and they go with you because you go. I know (mostly) it will all turn out OK. They've all been raised with the foundation intact. It's just up to them now to take it up themselves. Seeing hardness of heart is distressing in anyone.
I haven't been to the old church in months. That one is not the right place for us. I always hated the "praise songs" and thought they were insipid and they weren't into using the old hymns. I wish Father Bruce hadn't left the Catholic church. I think we might have liked that. Mike's new rdo's include Sunday now (that's a first!) so I'm thinking maybe I'll see if he wants to go to the monastery and see what he thinks. It will be very different for him. The Eastern Catholic service (especially for one raised in Protestantism) is awesome in the truest sense. It's close to the Eastern Orthodox church and that's what I like. I've never been to a service where I truly felt like I was worshipping in the presence of God as I did there. I hope Mike wants to go.
Here's my favorite hymn . . . well, one of my favorites:
IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
- Words by Horatio G. Spafford, 1873
- Music by Philip P. Bliss, 1876
The words to this hymn was written after two major traumas in Spafford's life. The first was the Great Chicago Fire of October 1871, which ruined him financially. Shortly after, while crossing the Atlantic, all four of Spafford's daughters died in a collision with another ship. Spafford's wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram: "SAVED ALONE." Several weeks later, as Spafford's own ship passed near the spot where his daughters died, he was inspired to write these words.
Bliss originally named the tune "Ville de Havre" after the ship on which Spafford's four girls perished, the SS Ville de Havre. Ironically, Bliss himself died in a tragic train wreck shortly after writing this music.
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