Jul 3, 2008
Today's not been a great day. Don't get me wrong. It hasn't been a bad day. It's just been one of those putter around the house and not really have anything to do/wander aimlessly day. Kind of like a day without a purpose. A morose day. I can tell it's close to a holiday because this has become kind of a "regular" feeling for these kinds of days. With the kids gone or off doing their own things and living their own lives on Christmas, mother's day, my birthday, etc., it makes the day kind of a downer. My usual 4th of July has been to ride with Mike patrolling around the parade and then for whatever shift he's on. Right now, though, he has a trainee so my spot in his car is currently taken. My day tomorrow, the 4th of July, a day I always loved, by the way, will consist of hanging out around the house while Mike sleeps off his graveyard. Yes, I could go to the parade . . . if I wanted to go alone. That sounds thrilling. I could go to the rodeo . . . alone. Or the barbecue . . . alone. Get my drift? I could hang out around home alone (or at least with Mike as company downstairs, asleep in bed) where it's comfortable and just putter around or I could go downtown and be with all sorts of lively people having fun with their families. Eh. No thanks. I'll take being home alone. Then, tomorrow night, a night I usually ride with him, I won't be able to. This has all made me think. I sure hope that my 21 years of sacrificing holidays, family dinners, i.e. a normal life, is not going to be extended beyond Mike's retirement. It would be heartbreaking to have had to sacrifice so much (for people and a place that never knew it was being sacrificed for) with the anticipation of finally being able to spend time together only to have that time torn asunder because of the effects of those 21 years of sacrifice. Just doesn't seem fair, does it? So that's my day. My night will be better because I'm going to sit and read magazines I bought several months ago but haven't had the time to read. I'll work a little downstairs, too, which I also haven't done in a while because of Mike sleeping down there during the day. It will be ok. Cherlyn actually cheered me up some by me telling her my woes and laughing and joking about them. Let's face it, if we can't laugh at our woes, we'd just end up crying. I don't want to go around being mopey all day. Things are as they are and we press on, knowing that every so often days like this will pop up. Tomorrow will be fine. Now if i could just get some of that work done downstairs without getting TOO sidetracked . . .