I'm . . .

A Grandma again!! Hallie Rae was born on February 2 to my youngest and her husband. Photos to follow because things are busy because . . .

We're empty nesters again!! Middle daughter and granddaughter moved out at the same time resulting in my house being in a total state of chaos.

At some time in the future, things will be "normal" again. For now, I'm plodding along trying to organize, rearrange and not forget all those wonderful ideas that keep popping up and then disappearing before I can write them down. Yes, that will be one of my changes. Must get paper next to wherever I am.

Write, write, write #2

Hmmm. I was looking over last years' posts. There aren't many of them so it took probably less than a minute. It was a full year in the 'brain' sense. My mind was full. A lot happened.

My preparation for the empty nest was very short-lived as Katie and Emma returned home in January. Why'd they return home? Well, turns out the reason Katie was having headaches, and had been having them since Thanksgiving, 2 1/2 months prior, was because she had three different appliances (one serious, one minimal and one within normal ranges) leaking carbon monoxide into their apartment since they moved in.

So, while dealing with Dave's imminent departure from this world, I was also dealing with much, much research on the subject of CO exposure. In fact, the day that I determined that CO was the cause of her headaches, I was watching Dave and Cheryl's grandson so that they could attend one of the many worker's comp hearings. When they picked up Kylar, Dave was the one hugging me and comforting me. Here he was, just about a month before he left this world, fresh from a hearing that he knew would be his last, and he was comforting me. That was Dave.

The CO stuff hit me initially with a wave of "what could have been." It's mellowed out so that that part of it rarely hits me any more. Now we're just thankful that Katie and Emma weren't injured any more than they were. Katie's recovery has been very slow. She still has headaches. Her memory is still VERY faulty. On the good side, though, her personality has started to come back to the Katie we had before she moved into the apartment. When she's testy (bitchy) now, it's usually because of some external stimuli and not because her brain is injured. She still forgets words and has some retrieval problems, but she's slowly improving. I'm very thankful God was watching over the girls and sent me the epiphany. Of course it was from Him. That's what an epiphany is.

So the empty nest didn't exactly happen. (Especially since India also came home off and on through the year.) I did have that extra room for a while because Emma was in with Katie the first few months they were back. That was silly, though, when I look back on it. What was I thinking? Why didn't we just put Emma in the other room? Selfish me. I know Katie doesn't want to be here any longer than they have to. They're welcome as long as they need to be here. I'm just glad we're able to help out. (I'm also very happy we didn't have to deal with any PTSD.) Time will tell.

I'm thankful Cherlyn, Rob, Bobby and Michael were here last Christmas. I'm glad they were here in October. I wish they were going to be here NOW! Better yet, I wish we were all there!!

Mike asked me last night, "How can you be homesick for a place you've never been?" Or something along those lines. He was looking at Cherlyn's pictures of England I think. It's strange how we both felt like we'd 'come home' when we were there. I miss over there more than I've ever missed Hawaii after we've come back from vacationing there. Can't we just get a little vacation cottage in a quiet English village and live there a few months out of the year??? Anyone want to give us a million dollars? :o) BIG smiles.

I'm not sure what the Christmas day plans are. I wish Pat and Pete were going to be around and that we'd thought to get the 26th off. He has the 24th off but I told him it's ok for him to not take vacation that day and see if someone else wants it. He's off at 6 anyway so it's not like we need it and maybe it will help someone else. India will be home Christmas Eve night and that'll be good. I still need to figure out what to make for dinner. Hmmm. Much to do still.

Time to get going and get some stuff done around here.

Easter

I posted this last year and, as it's so good and so fitting, will re-post for this Easter.  I hope it touches any who watch it as much as it still touches me.  A blessed Holy Week to you all, my favorite time of the whole year.

The Last Lecture, Randy Pausch

I just watched this lecture, having read the book last week. I happened to pick the book up last month but hadn't opened it until I was talking to a very dear friend who is dying from pancreatic cancer. Dave and his wife, Cheryl, encouraged me to read the book and told me that they'd bought copies for their kids. I highly recommend both the book and the lecture to everyone. There are a few books that I would classify as "life changing." This is one of them.

New Year

"What a fellowship, what a joy divine, leaning on the everlasting arms, what a blessed mix, what a peace is mine, leaning on the everlasting arms. Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarm, leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms."

I love the start of a new year. It's a time to start over, to not worry about what didn't get done the year before. I can let it all go and start from scratch. My mind is whirring with all of the things I want to do. Topping the list is our bedroom.

"When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul. It is well, it is well, it is well, it is well, it is well, it is well with my soul. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought! My sin, not in part but the whole, is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more, Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!"

Not only do I get to begin anew, I get to begin anew with Mike on days. That's normally not a shift we prefer, but when it's 12 hours of graves or 12 hours of days, I prefer the days. It means that I can work in our bedroom and get it to looking like a bedroom again, as opposed to a storage room with a bed.

"On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross, the emblem of suffering and shame; and I love that old cross where the dearest and best for a world of lost sinners was slain. So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross, till my trophies at last I lay down; I will cling to the old rugged cross, and exchange it some day for a crown."

The new year was ushered in rather quietly with me riding with Mike until 1 am or so. The snap, crackle and pop of the fireworks resonating across town was the only "excitement" which is ok by me. I don't even think they got a deuce, it was fairly quiet. Not bad for 6 hours of OT.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father; there is no shadow of turning with Thee; Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not; As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be. Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided; Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

2008 promises to be a year full of change. There's an excellent chance that Katie and Emma will be moving out. It all hinges on Katie being hired as a dispatcher by the PD. She scored well on the initial test and her oral is scheduled for the 11th. If all goes well, she could start there in March or so . . . maybe even February. India turns 18 at the end of March and she's already saying that she's moving then. It would not surprise me in the least if she wants to go live with her aunt. I just want to see her graduate and then I can relax a little. We could conceivably have an empty house come April!

2008 could very well be The Year of Adjusting.

More a little later on Mom's Guide to Dating or What I've Tried To Teach My Three Daughters About Picking A Good Man Based On What I Learned The Hard Way.

Ironies of Distraction: The Way Of Who?

Jon had an interesting post to which I commented. I think my comments stand alone so I just pasted them here. Call me lazy. :0)

Melodee said...

I think a lot of people don't realize (maybe mostly the parents) how much partying and sex is happening at Christian schools. Our main Christian school, that serves our area up here in the boonies/aka wild west, has just as many wild kids as our high school does. The kids have just learned to hide it better. For example, going out behind the Ag farm to drink Jack Daniels is just plain dumb. Spending the night at Susie's house (because Susie and her family go to X church and Susie's parents just KNOW she'd never ever do anything wrong) and getting drunk there when her parents are out of town (because her parents trust her to stay at home alone because little Susie would never ever do anything wrong) is the "smart" plan. Live in a small town. You get wised up (wised up?) quickly.

Do they require any thinking types of book at VC? C.S. Lewis? Dr. Francis Schaeffer? Os Guinness? G.K. Chesterton? George MacDonald? Kids may not be interested in those books at that age, or they may be over their heads, but later on something might click and they might have an aha! moment. Plus, someone might just enjoy them. Screwtape Letters should be mandatory reading.

For the record, I think that the whole "why didn't anyone tell me that before" thing has been going on for years (forever maybe?). I think it's just when we grow up and start to think for ourselves (and you could be really old when this happens . . . like even 30) is when our faith gets to that make or break point. I think most everyone needs to go through that so that they're thinking for themselves and they choose to believe on their own, not because someone told them they'd burn in Hell for all eternity if they didn't choose Jesus.

8:27 AM

Blogs

My nephew, Jon, just posted a very nice post about the family. He's the one who, without his knowledge, I believe, really encouraged me to start blogging. I would read what he would have to say and then my brain would be bubbling and brimming with the flotsam and jetsam which I like to call, "my thoughts." So thank you, Jon, for your inspiration. I've gotten to know you better through your writings in the last few months than I did in spending time with you (rarely) the last ten years. So here are a few pictures of Jon, his sister, Jessica (who also has a blog), and two of my daughters, Cherlyn (blog) and Katie.

Jessica is a month younger than Katie and they are still really good friends, only now, instead of playing on swingsets together, they go to bars (when they can) and drive around late at night, and stuff.

Our birthdays are April 8th and 9th so we usually try to celebrate them together in some way.

"The cousins," Jon, Katie, Jessica, Cherlyn

Jon and Cherlyn, just 4 months apart in age and great friends when they were little. Jon's older.

Okinawa!

It is official! We're going to see Cherlyn (our eldest), Rob (her husband) and Bobby (their son; OUR GRANDSON!) in mid-October! I can hardly wait!



They live on the island of Okinawa, a prefecture of Japan.


More photos later!

Quiet in the house

It's quiet here. It's a bag of mixed blessings. On the one hand, I like having time to myself to do those things I've been trying to get done for so long. My room is getting put together and I pretty much know where everything is. The gigantic oak desk is out of there, waiting for a den. I got my dresser all cleaned off last night and pictures are back up on the walls where they belong. Well, most of them are. I still have some of my own photographs I need to print out and put into frames and then find homes for them. My computer's become used to being down there and I like not having it in the living room. Grandma's black buffet/desk is finally cleaned out and put in some semblance of order. I've condensed us out of 3 desks now and most everything is in the black desk. Upstairs, the TV isn't housed in the entertainment center any more. We're going to donate that to the PD or to the hospital thrift store. I'm using the antique Korean chest to house the TV and all its' accouterments. It's nice paring things down.

On the other hand, it's very quiet. I miss Emma. She'll be back tomorrow, though, so I will enjoy this brief respite. Like I said, it's a bag of mixed blessings. Katie is camping with "friends" and Emma is with her. When I commented to Mike's dad some weeks ago how difficult it will be when Emma no longer lives with us and how quiet it will be here, he said, "But you'll get used to it. And that's how it's supposed to be." He's right, of course. Little ones are meant to be raised by their parents. I just pray that the circumstances at that time will be much better than they are now. I would love nothing better than for Katie and Emma to be on their own, Katie with a good job, Emma with either us watching her or someone else just as good (is that possible?), happy, content, doing what is Right.

It struck me this morning how I wish that our church-going wasn't "broken." I know that it was right for us to leave the old church and go to the new one when we did . . . and then to switch back when we found that the new one wasn't home. I just wish that the timing had been better. It caused a disruption for the kids. They never fit in with the new one and when we went back to the old one, too many years had passed for them to feel part of it again. It's so much easier when they're younger and they go with you because you go. I know (mostly) it will all turn out OK. They've all been raised with the foundation intact. It's just up to them now to take it up themselves. Seeing hardness of heart is distressing in anyone.

I haven't been to the old church in months. That one is not the right place for us. I always hated the "praise songs" and thought they were insipid and they weren't into using the old hymns. I wish Father Bruce hadn't left the Catholic church. I think we might have liked that. Mike's new rdo's include Sunday now (that's a first!) so I'm thinking maybe I'll see if he wants to go to the monastery and see what he thinks. It will be very different for him. The Eastern Catholic service (especially for one raised in Protestantism) is awesome in the truest sense. It's close to the Eastern Orthodox church and that's what I like. I've never been to a service where I truly felt like I was worshipping in the presence of God as I did there. I hope Mike wants to go.

Here's my favorite hymn . . . well, one of my favorites:

IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.


- Words by Horatio G. Spafford, 1873
- Music by Philip P. Bliss, 1876

The words to this hymn was written after two major traumas in Spafford's life. The first was the Great Chicago Fire of October 1871, which ruined him financially. Shortly after, while crossing the Atlantic, all four of Spafford's daughters died in a collision with another ship. Spafford's wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram: "SAVED ALONE." Several weeks later, as Spafford's own ship passed near the spot where his daughters died, he was inspired to write these words.

Bliss originally named the tune "Ville de Havre" after the ship on which Spafford's four girls perished, the SS Ville de Havre. Ironically, Bliss himself died in a tragic train wreck shortly after writing this music.

The Story of India, Part One

On August 25, 1990, while Mike was on duty, he was sent on a call to the hospital to see the ER staff. They were treating a five month old baby girl who had some strange bruises and was "suppposed" to have been in a car accident. Strangely enough the bruising left perfect imprints of handprints and finger marks on her face and neck. It became apparent to the doctor and Mike that the bruises weren't caused by any car accident. The fleeing of the parent seemed to substantiate that, too. We were foster parents at the time and already had a five and a half year old daughter placed with us in addition to our own seven and five year old daughters.

I was listening to the scanner and heard him go to the call and, after a short while, request a social worker because he was going to "300" the baby. That meant he was giving her to social services for placement because being with the parent was dangerous for her. I quickly called the dispatcher and told her, "Tell Mike we have room for a baby!" Then I called the hospital and gave the same message to the ER nurse. I nervously listened to the scanner so that I could get a clue as to what he would decide to do.

Within probably half an hour the phone was ringing. It was the dispatcher telling me to come down to the PD to pick up the baby because Mike and the social worker agreed that we would keep her for "a week at most." I yelled to the girls that we were getting a baby girl and I called our closest friends and next-door neighbors, asking them if they'd watch the girls for a little while while I fetched the baby. They were thrilled to help out and I was soon on my way down to the PD.

The baby girl was small for her age and dressed in pajamas that were sized for a toddler. She had the most unusual name; India. It was a name I'd never heard before. I took her home and got her settled in.

At home, the girls, as are most girls that age, absolutely adored her. They played with her and made her laugh and that made me laugh. As the next day came along, the bruises became more pronounced. It was obvious that she had been slapped and had had someone's hands around her neck. Fortunately, the bruises were the only injury and they soon vanished. For one reason or another, the week came and went without India being placed anywhere else. Days moved into weeks, weeks moved into months and before I knew it, I was hooked by her. I knew that she was part of our family and that, as far as I was concerned, she was part of me.

Seasons of Parenting

I am an incredibly fortunate person. Here I am in the season of life where I figured I would be just puttering around the house doing my own little projects, taking some art classes, working in the garden, etc. and, instead of all of that, I am blessed with the opportunity to be a day to day, major influence in a little person's life. I have the incredible opportunity to help this little one grow into a thinking, feeling, acting blessing in other peoples' lives. I thought that my major influence on a child ended when my kids were old enough to start thinking on their own. Who knew I would be blessed with being able to share even more with someone else. I think one of the greatest things about this is the fact that I feel much more prepared and equipped to "parent" a child (even though I am NOT the child's parent) than I did in my younger years. I have more patience and I have the wonderful gift of hindsight, which is enabling me to skip over those negative qualities I inflicted on my own kids. Not only do I get the opportunity to help this child, she, in turn, is giving me the gift of youth, something I wouldn't normally have at this season in life. How can anyone be old and stodgy with a 2 year old running around. With a 2 year old you can crawl around on the floor and be silly and giggle. I get to color with crayons, finger paint, make handprints in plaster of paris, build things with legos, and crawl into a "house" made from a washing machine box. I get to chase her around on my hands and knees and make her laugh and scream with delight. In the meantime, she's making ME laugh and scream with delight. People tell me what a wonderful thing it is I'm/we're doing. I ask them, "What else would I do?" I am truly blessed.